"David...danced before the Lord with all his might."

I have learned more about God's love in the last year with Ava than I ever have before. I watch Ava and think how much I love her and then I think about how much more God loves her than I do. And I am breathless. I know how much I love Ava and I know that God loves me as much as He loves her and I can't help but feel so loved.

Another thing I have learned is that babies are so honest. They only smile if they mean it, and they only dance when they feel moved. My little Ava feels "moved" a lot. Anytime there is a discernible, and sometimes a not so discernible, beat she is moving and in a state of pure enjoyment. She loves it!! On Sunday, I was so awed by watching my small daughter dance "before the Lord with all *her* might". She heard the praise music and she just couldn't help herself. She had to dance. She stopped right where we were in the aisle and just moved before the Lord. So I sat down and worshiped the Lord where I was with tears in my eyes. How pure was her enjoyment and her intent. Is my worship that pure? I can't help but ask myself how often my worship is as genuine as my one year old daughters. And if I am honest, I have to say no it isn't all the time. I get so caught up in the me of worship that I lose sight of Him.

Thank you Lord for the reminder of how to worship. Thank you for Ava and all that she teaches me about You!

It's like starting brand new!

Well it has been awhile since I have blogged. 11 months to be exact. In that 11 months life has been busy. It has thrown a few curve balls, like my sister and brother-in-law and nephew moving to Peru. But it has been fun. Ava has finally grown out of colic. Who knew that could last almost a year? Anyway, here are a few pictures to catch you up from the last year!








That's not nearly all of them, but it is taking a long time to upload pictures:). I will post more later!

beautiful

I just have to say, Ava just gave me the most beautiful smile! Her eyes lit up and everything! Surely that had to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Ava is here!

Wow, it's hard to believe it has been four weeks since I posted last and was so scared about having a baby. As it turns out, I had every right to be scared! After seven hours of intense labor, we made the decision to transfer to the hospital and get an epidural. Now, let me explain myself. First of all I refer to it as "intense" labor because technically it isn't active labor until one is dialated to a four. I was at a two, seven hours later, I was at a two and a half. Yes, ladies and gentelmen, it took me seven hours to dialate one half of a centimeter. Things were not going...at all...

My fabulous nurse was going to start pitocin but my wise mother knew that I could not handle that without help so we made the transfer. Once I got to the hospital, via ambulance (that's a whole other story for a different post), I got into my new room and got the epidural. For those of you who don't know, I am a needle freak!! I hate them, no one is even allowed to touch the part in my arm where blood is drawn from because it bothers me so badly. So one would think that I would have a hard time getting an ENORMOUS needle shoved into my spine would send me over the edge. But I didn't even flinch. I was so tired and worn out from my contractions that I didn't even feel the epidural.

Let me just back up and tell you a little about my contractions. They were very irregular. I was having four or five peaks a contraction. So for those of you who have experienced natural labor, that means that the really painful part in the middle of the contraction...I HAD FOUR OR FIVE EACH CONTRACTION!! This was not fair. Once I was on the monitor at the hospital and they had started pitocin they realized why I kept saying that my contractions weren't going away. They never did regulate either, even with pitocin.

But then I had the epidural, everyone was sent home to rest because I still had so far to go. My amazing Dr. who was so sweet and a Christian, made a bed for my very tired and very wonderful and very supportive husband. And we all settled down to sleep for a few hours. But this was not to be. About an hour later I woke up when my nurse was in the room and told her I was feeling a lot of pressure so she checked me and I was complete! She told me not to move and not to cough and blitzed out of the room to get the doc. I very carefully called out to Jayson that it was time to roll and he made the necessary phone calls. Once I started pushing, it only took about 45 minutes to finally get our beautiful little girl in my arms!

Ava came into the world on September 26, 2008 at 7:42 am weighing in at 7 lbs and 2 oz. and she was 20 inches long. She was the most beautiful angel I had ever seen. The one thing I remember most was how she was crying when they put her up on my chest and I started talking to her and she stopped crying and looked at me. I mean she looked me right in the eyes like she knew who I was. God is so good!

Life after her arrival has been the most wonderful adjustment we have ever had to make. She is such a good baby and has slept through the night from day one. When she cries, it is just the sweetest sound. That is not to say her scream isn't earth shattering...it is. Jayson and I have been blessed beyond what we deserve and we are so thankful to God for this beautiful life He created and deemed us worthy to be apart of.

Prayer

Well, after a false alarm on Monday, the Dr. and I have decided to induce on Thursday. I told my mom I feel like I am headed to the guillotine. It is so nice to be able to plan for my class but I have all these doubts. I laid awake last night wondering what in the world I thought I would do with a child? What kind of mother will I be? Can I do this? Can I actually have a baby without pain medication? What if I can't do it and I make a fool of myself?

Anyway, if you could pray that God will give me peace and be with Jayson and I as we welcome our baby girl into the world.

Falling Off the Cliff

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you know you are going to go over the side of the cliff and there is nothing you can do about it? At this point I am catapulting over the side of a cliff and I can do nothing to stop it. This sounds scary and kind of depressing but I have found that this is when God grows can grow me the most. It is a time when I can't depend on me so I have to depend on Him. I think this is a good thing.

I have been teaching now for 7 school days. It is amazing to me that I am now accomplishing what I went to school for for so long. I am not sure if I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing, but I am doing all I can:).

I am also about three weeks out from my due date! Can I just say this is the scariest most exciting thing I have ever waited for. Sometimes I cry because I am so scared I can't breath and sometimes I just cry and no one really knows why:). That I guess is the joy of pregnancy.

Between these two things, I don't think I can handle much else. I am so overwhelmed with life right now. But at the same time I am so excited about all that is going on. I keep wanting to pause things so that I can stop for a minute and just look around and appreciate all the things that are going on. But I seemed to have misplaced the remote...along with everything else:)!

My Wonderful Husband

Recently some friends of ours got engaged and they are so cute! They are always touching and smiling and feeding each other. We don't do that anymore. After all, it's been three years. I was feeling pretty sad about this and would tell my husband this every time we spent time with these friends. But I just shared a moment with my husband that lets me know that even though we aren't all mushy gushy anymore he loves me even more than he used to. Let me explain.

I am eight months pregnant and quite roundish. My doctor keeps telling me my uterus is too big and all the old ladies at church love to exclaim how big I am. So reaching my toes is getting hard to do to say the least. And they were dirty cuz I am the cliche' bare-foot and pregnant type I guess. So my husband, being the wonderful many that he is, cleaned them off for me. Between the toes and all.

Now that, my friends, is true love.