I have been attending a bible study called "More Than Just a Good Bible Study Girl". And I guess I am not more than a good bible study girl because I haven't done a lick of homework. But I am getting things out of it. Like how God is training me where I am for what He wants me to do. I always lament to myself about my lack of a life or lack of a testimony. But Lysa talked about how God trained King David to be the king of His people while David was tending his sheep. God is training me right now where I am to do His work even if where I am right now seems somehow less than meaningful.
I have always related to King David. Not that I am like him by any means, but I WANT to be like him. I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I just struggle with the rhythm. I gave the example in bible study about how Jayson and I went salsa dancing. Jayson knew the right steps and the order of the steps but he couldn't get it with the rhythm. I feel like that with my relationship with God. I know what steps to take but I can't seem to get the rhythm in my life. I want my life to be a beautiful dance with God. Dipping and twirling in tandem and feeling like I know God well enough that I can feel that nudge on my hand to tell me to go left or right, forward or back, twirl under or over. Sometimes I feel that nudge on my hand, but mostly I don't. Mostly I feel like the girl at the prom without a dance partner, not because the King doesn't want to dance with me, but because I am too willful to follow His lead. How do I let Him lead when I don't feel His hand nudging mine in my life in those small moments? I don't want to make a fool of Him and fall flat on my face and make people wonder about those "Christians". I am a horrible follower when it comes to dancing and when it comes to life.
My goal with this bible study is to learn to dance with God. To let Him lead in our Tango and to let it go when I fall and make mistakes, because the other thing I have learned in this Bible study, is that God can use our mistakes too.
2 comments:
Wow Andrea, I truly do hope you find the rhythm you are seeking. I believe it will happen, maybe soon, maybe later, who knows, but the fact that you are willing and ready to seek what God has in store for you is half the battle. Awesome post.
Hi Andrea! Are you Robin's daughter? I am certain you must be.
Anyway, thank you for your comment on my blog. You think the way I do. If it were my child and she took her first steps with the caregiver I would not want that caregiver to tell me. And that is the way I have handled it in the past. I just let the parents tell me the next day and I am extremely happy for them and excited for the milestone.
Everyone else seems to think I should tell them. But I have a feeling they are not working full time outside of their home.
Keep up with the bible study. This is a hard time of life, much harder in that you are not at home all day. It gives little window for anything beyond meals and laundry. I've been there.
Blessings to you and your sweet family.
Post a Comment